You only need to get it right once.

I have a theory, or maybe its a philosophy (I never know which). It has a few flaws, but it works well for me. Here it is:

You only need to get it right once.

Doesn't that sound sensible and, more important, doable? It does not matter how many times you've screwed up in the past - just get it right. With many things in life, you only need to get it right once and the future is clear.

My marriage is a perfect example. Beloved wife and I met as young, often drunk, restaurant workers. We ran around town and generally had a good time. We had our differences, but we mostly had fun. After about three years the magic was, as they say, gone. We were still friends, but there was no romance, no fun adventures, and we just didn't connect. We had grown apart and soon we split apart. I was devastated.

We remained close after the split, and she called me often from her travels across the country with a Shakespeare troupe. When the tour finished and she returned to New York, I realized that we should be married. She thought I was mad (crazy mad, not that other mad) and insisted that we had tried and it failed: "I never go back to an old relationship"

That was when I had my revelation - it didn't matter. It didn't matter that we failed to make it work previously. You see, "Happily Ever After" only needs to be accomplished once. So fuck up your relationship two or three times, its OK. The important thing is that you learn from the mistakes and just get it right one time - and make sure its the happily ever after time.

More life lessons and observations to follow.